Let’s Raise A Praise!

IMG_1061

What should one do, when their hope is failing?  Raise a Praise!

It is my first year living at my farm.  As a single woman, operating a farm, opening a business, working full-time as a high school teacher, I was struggling in every aspect of my life.  The original fence at the farm was an electric tape that my ponies loved to push down and climb through.  Though they never went to the road, my neighbors would find them in their backyard, or lounging under my beautiful oak tree in the front yard.  I had to do something.

I took all my money from my savings to buy a wooden fence.  I ordered the fence, never thinking that I would need to calculate two to three feet needed to stabilize the posts that would be buried in the ground.  Because I ordered the fence, it was cut to my specifications.  The fence posts were only five feet in length, not the required eight feet.

The fence installer looked at my devastating miscalculation, shook his head, and said, “This fence won’t hold a horse,” and I did what most would do, I hung my head in complete despair.  I knew that I had just lost the biggest investment I had made at my farm, $12,000 of complete waste.

The fence installer left imploring me to get new fencing, but I knew I did not have the money to re-order new fencing.  In my mind, I had just lost all.   I drug myself into my prayer closet and did what I knew I had to do, praise the Lord.  Initially it was very hard to praise when my heart was like a soaked blanket.  I was determined to get God to work on my behalf.

One hour of praise led to two, then three hours until I felt my heart loosen, and the words of praise rang true in my sorry heart.  I called the lumber yard, just knowing in my heart, God would make a way out of this mess.

When the lumber yard said they would take it back and refund my money, I literally fell to my knees.  They charged me a service and handling fee, but it was minuscule compared to the thousands I had just given to them.  I learned a valuable lesson that only God can teach us when we are in the valley.  Praise Him until you get out of it!

When hope is lost, despair is walking boldly into your heart and mind, that’s when it calls for a mighty praise!

Have you ever praised the LORD when all hope was failing, and He took your despair and turned it into joy?

Please share!  And always, thanks for reading my rambling!  LOVE YOU ALL!

Advertisements

Thread Bare Faith

 

IMG_1654I know I must, then why is it so hard to do it?  What must I do?  Praise the LORD, that’s my mandate, but I am slain in overwhelming disappointment.  I thought that after I battled cancer my life would be restored.  Instead, I lay in destruction.

I am fighting my fear, disappointment, and hopelessness.  You see, I did something the world would say was crazy.  After not being able to work last year, I closed a large account, in anticipation of spending it on my crushing debt.  After an extended fast, God said, “Do you trust me?”

I emphatically answered with a resounding YES!  What He told me to do next, rocked me to my core, “Give me all that you have.”  I had thousands of dollars in my account, earmarked for debt, and God was asking me to give it all to Him.

With shaking hands, I trusted Him, and wrote the check out for everything I had.

I rested in the glorious verses,  Malachi 3:10-11

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this,” says the LORD of Hosts. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out for you blessing without measure. 11I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your land, and the vine in your field will not fail to produce fruit,” says the LORD of Hosts.…

Luke 6:38

38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Admittedly, I was getting excited with expectation of how He would use this extraordinary gift.  What came next rocked my world and left me spiraling in despair.

First, my sweet aged horse went into a severe colic and double pneumonia.  The vet bill crushed me.  Next, we were hit with a tax bill of $13,000.  Then our two-month-old refrigerator stopped working, and because it is under a warranty, Sears said they can’t come out for nine days.  All our food spoiled.  My tractor stopped working and now it is in the shop.  Everywhere I looked was destruction.

Maybe I will be laugh at these calamities someday, but right now it is raw.  I cried out to God, and proclaimed the verses of hope, prosperity, and all that is afforded to a believer in Jesus.  My faith is faltering, my strength failing, and my hope is thread bare.  Then I thought about it all, God is God of my life.  Even this period of wilderness will bear much fruit.  I am learning that my circumstances are temporary, He is forever.

I got my praise music on and literally laid on the floor, tears streaming down my face.  My big fluffy dogs trying to comfort me.  I did not care, I was going to lay there until He changed my heart from despair to hope.  If He gives me nothing, I am still going to praise Him for saving this sorry soul from the pit of hell.  I will smile in the face of defeat, because God is working it all out for my good, even when I wish His “good” was my kind of good.  My Father is a good God, and He loves me too much to leave me in this wretched place.

I repeat out loud, as if it were a battle cry.  “I am your daughter!  You are my God, and I will serve You no matter how bad it looks!  Have mercy O Great God!”

Immediately, my heart is restored, hope floods in, and I know that He will bring good gifts, I only need to hold onto hope.

Are you in the valley of despair?  Let me pray for you, please just put your name in the comment box.

Take Your Grubby Hands Off Of That…..It is Mine!

fighting for the finish book cover

“How will they know it is Me, if you keep trying to make something happen?”

A smack down, straight from God Almighty.  I am a bull-in-a-china-shop, a go-getter, stop-at-nothing, million-miles-an-hour woman, type-A, who always wants to be in control.  I get more accomplished before eight o’clock in the morning than most people do all day and in some cases all week.

Written goals organized into steps to be taken each day.  The biggest goal is marketing my book, Fighting for the Finish, and I am constantly weaving a web of purposeful steps to get my book “out there.”  I think about it constantly.

Then I got the smack-down from God.  Do I trust Him with the story He gave me?  I started to laugh to myself, yes, of course.  Who wouldn’t?  Reflecting upon my constant flurry of action, it was leading me to destruction, and in all honesty, I was NOT trusting Him.

Forgive me O Mighty God.  Hands off, I will rest in You!

Have you ever had God tell you to stop, rest in Him, knowing that He is working it all out?  Please share!

Jesus Saves Wretches Like Me

I came to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.  While staying at one of the oldest homes in a quaint little town in southern New Jersey, I was in trouble, spiritual trouble.  I was house sitting this beautiful masterpiece.  But what I did not know was that it was haunted.  Lights going on, chairs moving, banging, thumping, electrical humming sounds, and most disconcerting was the overwhelming fear I had.

That morning, the phone kept ringing, and as soon as I grabbed the phone, all I heard was a dial-tone.  Frustrated, I went to the only thing that could help me, a pastor.  While speaking with him on the phone about what I was experiencing, the phone began to ring.  An impossibility, there was no other line except the one that I was on.

“Pastor, if I accept Jesus Christ, will this phone stop ringing?” I was desperate for answers to questions that I did not know.

“I don’t know, but what you will have is the power inside of you to stop it,” he said the  word that I longed for- power.  I knew deep in my heart that it was essential for me to have that power, without it, I was surely going to be destroyed.

I accepted Jesus Christ that day as my Savior out of desperation.  Little did I know that for one year, I would be harassed by strong demonic forces at my little home in Delaware.  During  that year I learned and understood the significance of the power living inside of me, and my life has never been the same.

It is a fantastic story and available in my book, Fighting for the Finish, on http://www.jillmansor.com or amazon.  I am currently holding a contest on my FIGHTING FOR THE FINISH WRITTEN BY JILL MANSOR FB PAGE to win a free signed copy.

Tell me your testimony!october 2012 024

This is a picture from my farm, Raise Your Dreams, in southern New Jersey.

The Farm That Hope Built

equine therapy

“Miss Jill, you are the luckiest person I know,” Josh held out his hands trying to encompass all of my farm.

“Josh, this has nothing to do with luck,” I stated flatly, for he had no idea how much time, planning, and effort “all” of this luck took.

“Aw, c’mon, Miss Jill, it was all luck,” he laughed awkwardly, as if it were inconceivable to have anything without some luck.

This conversation gave me many flashbacks.  I was thrust into my past with my many friends who became nay-Sayers who discouraged me and sabotaged me.  I saw myself on my knees and recalled the countless hours in prayer.  All the extra jobs I would take no matter how tedious to make extra money.  All the hours in careful planning of how I would get the money to open my own farm.  And after I got my farm, how many times I went without food.  This labor of love, Raise Your Dreams Farm, had nothing to do with luck.  It had everything to do with my relationship with Jesus Christ.

The day I accepted Christ, I felt a tugging on my life, to give it all to Him.  I read His Word, memorized His promises, and I kept mine to Him.

One day I read, “As a man thinks in his heart, so shall he be,” Proverbs 23:7.  I set about immediately casting out negative thoughts.  I am being honest here, I always hated myself.  I grew up in an abusive household, it was ingrained in me that I was a worthless waste of space.

Admittedly, it was a struggle to change my thinking, after-all, I had lived this way for my whole life.  I filled my mind and words with His promises of who I was.  If Jesus knows me, then I MUST be something special I would tell myself.

I would spend hours in the stalls, listening to tapes that I made of promising scripture.  I woke up to these tapes, and then I would fall asleep to them.  I felt God prompting me to write down my goals, make plans to achieve them, and then set about doing something every day that got me a little closer to my goals.  Some days they were big steps, other days they were small steps, but every moment was spent thinking of my goals.

I remember going to a tack store and buying a brass key chain with the name, RAISE YOUR DREAMS FARM, so that each time, I grabbed my keys, I saw the dream and felt the farm.  I could visualize my farm, a yellow house, tree lined driveway that curved, and it all fell into place on May 1, 2002, the day I found my farm.  By May 31, of that year, I was laying in my Jacuzzi tub looking out on my horses at my very own farm.

A single woman buying a farm, sheer craziness, but with God ALL things are possible!

One of my dearest friends gave me a tiny figure of a woman that was on her knees praying, and she wrote in her note to me that she knew that this farm could ONLY be possible by copious hours spent in prayer.  It is not what you show outwardly, but what you do when no one is watching that produces the biggest results.

Do you have a dream?  Go after it with all your heart.  Make a goal, set a plan in action, ask God for His help, and believe in your heart that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Sometimes the World Becomes Right when Riding a Horse

Life can be hard, but I always found peace on the back of my beloved horse, RAISE YOUR DREAMS.  He became an extension of me, and I was his.  Many hours were spent at the barn with this special horse making my life right with my two-thousand pound hero.

IMG_1239

Sometimes You Just Need to get Violent!

IMG_5342

Battling cancer all year, two blown knees, and lymphadema in my left arm, I felt that I was broken beyond repair.  Until I had an epiphany!

You are a child of God! You don’t have to live in despair! Claim who you are!  God was speaking to me!

“Ok devil, I’m serving you notice! The battle is already won! I’m a child of the most high God! You cannot, will not be able to touch me!” Admittedly it felt good!  I got up and started to walk, usually painful beyond belief.  This time, I was going to praise God for the healing He promised me the day He died on the cross.

“Thank you Father for my healing!  I walk in victory, I speak in victory! I am more than a conqueror through Christ!”  Emboldened by faith, I knew that I was learning to live above my circumstances.

That night as I climbed into bed, my husband said, “You aren’t in any pain?” He was so accustomed to me complaining, moaning and groaning throughout my day that he noticed the silence of peace that comforted my heart.

“No, Dan! Do you believe it?  God taught me that sometimes I just need to get violent!”

“Violent?”

“Yup, violent with the devil! I beat him up so badly by claiming all GOD has for me, that he dare not come near me!” I laid down and a tear of gratefulness welled in my eyes.  For the first time in a year, I felt no pain!  I was healed, always had been, I just needed to claim what I knew I had!

 

Lesson Learned

IMG_5100

“Miss Jill, I want to pray!” Luke, the just-turned-seven-year-old-who-grew-one-inch, stood before me.  He was part of the six-strong nuggets that lived next door to me

“Great Luke, what do you want to pray about?” I asked.

“I want to thank God, but I don’t know how to do it,” with that he tilted his head, seeking an answer.

“It is easy, just talk to God like you talk to me,” I held my hand out, a signal that we were going to pray.

He bent his beautiful head, “God, thank you for horses, Miss Jill, and Luke (a paint horse that had his same name), AMEN!”

He looked up at me, proud of himself for praying on his own.

As I walked into my home I was struck by his heart that sought Thanksgiving. When was the last time I thanked God for all that He has done for me?  Thanks Luke for teaching me a lesson.

From Secret Rider to Horse Whisper

IMG_5074

My article was published in Renaissance Magazine, July issue.

Check it out!

Pudgy Pony Power

He is forty-something years old, and if there is one thing he loves more than life it is this pudgy, sometimes naughty pony.  His name is Frank, and he comes dutifully every Wednesday morning to help lead this pony while he carries his special people for equine therapy.  Frank, was not sure that he could be loved, but this pony demonstrated what few have demonstrated in his life- unconditional love.  While leading Buttons, he would sometimes say, “Miss Jill, I don’t think Buttons likes me.”  As if on queue, Buttons began to lick his hand in response to his insecurity.  This pony was proving what I did not have to say. 
“I think he just showed you how much he loves you Frank!” I began to laugh.  That’s my pudgy pony’s power, to make all believe in the impossible.  He has carried people on his back to victory, once placing 6th place out of 21 thoroughbred horses at a hunter show.  But his greatest gift is loving all that come here and for them to know that he finds each one as a true treasure.  Buttons graces this small farm in southern New Jersey and all that get a chance to meet Buttons knows that he truly has pudgy pony powers.
Buttons
He is as round as he is tall. But his heart is even bigger. He loves deeply, and if you ever had a chance to be loved by him, then consider yourself blessed immensely.