Bella and Her Little Fella

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Who could resist this little cutie?  He came complete with a heart printed on his side, wide expressive eyes, and an ornery temperament to compliment this little delightful pony.  Battling cancer left my body weak and unable to ride this diminutive boy.  Seeking an answer to solve this problem-pony, came in a long-legged blonde beauty from next-door.

The home next door is a mansion, and it laid dormant for many years, until life was breathed into its existence by the wonderful family that bought it.  The oldest, a horse-crazy eleven-year-old, Bella.  She was a tenacious rider, very steady in her seat, and with face set in expectation, she got this pony to do things, no one has.  After countless hours on Squirt’s back, she has ridden him through round-house bucks, and countless bulges at the gates, through jumps, and spooks on the trails, Bella patiently waited to see what no one else could see.  That this pony was priceless.

Today, she jumps Squirt with no saddle or hands.  She takes him to shows, falls asleep on his back, and thinks about nothing but this little fella.  He has turned into a wonderful cutie that is what any little girl dream of!

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Let’s Raise A Praise!

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What should one do, when their hope is failing?  Raise a Praise!

It is my first year living at my farm.  As a single woman, operating a farm, opening a business, working full-time as a high school teacher, I was struggling in every aspect of my life.  The original fence at the farm was an electric tape that my ponies loved to push down and climb through.  Though they never went to the road, my neighbors would find them in their backyard, or lounging under my beautiful oak tree in the front yard.  I had to do something.

I took all my money from my savings to buy a wooden fence.  I ordered the fence, never thinking that I would need to calculate two to three feet needed to stabilize the posts that would be buried in the ground.  Because I ordered the fence, it was cut to my specifications.  The fence posts were only five feet in length, not the required eight feet.

The fence installer looked at my devastating miscalculation, shook his head, and said, “This fence won’t hold a horse,” and I did what most would do, I hung my head in complete despair.  I knew that I had just lost the biggest investment I had made at my farm, $12,000 of complete waste.

The fence installer left imploring me to get new fencing, but I knew I did not have the money to re-order new fencing.  In my mind, I had just lost all.   I drug myself into my prayer closet and did what I knew I had to do, praise the Lord.  Initially it was very hard to praise when my heart was like a soaked blanket.  I was determined to get God to work on my behalf.

One hour of praise led to two, then three hours until I felt my heart loosen, and the words of praise rang true in my sorry heart.  I called the lumber yard, just knowing in my heart, God would make a way out of this mess.

When the lumber yard said they would take it back and refund my money, I literally fell to my knees.  They charged me a service and handling fee, but it was minuscule compared to the thousands I had just given to them.  I learned a valuable lesson that only God can teach us when we are in the valley.  Praise Him until you get out of it!

When hope is lost, despair is walking boldly into your heart and mind, that’s when it calls for a mighty praise!

Have you ever praised the LORD when all hope was failing, and He took your despair and turned it into joy?

Please share!  And always, thanks for reading my rambling!  LOVE YOU ALL!

Thread Bare Faith

 

IMG_1654I know I must, then why is it so hard to do it?  What must I do?  Praise the LORD, that’s my mandate, but I am slain in overwhelming disappointment.  I thought that after I battled cancer my life would be restored.  Instead, I lay in destruction.

I am fighting my fear, disappointment, and hopelessness.  You see, I did something the world would say was crazy.  After not being able to work last year, I closed a large account, in anticipation of spending it on my crushing debt.  After an extended fast, God said, “Do you trust me?”

I emphatically answered with a resounding YES!  What He told me to do next, rocked me to my core, “Give me all that you have.”  I had thousands of dollars in my account, earmarked for debt, and God was asking me to give it all to Him.

With shaking hands, I trusted Him, and wrote the check out for everything I had.

I rested in the glorious verses,  Malachi 3:10-11

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this,” says the LORD of Hosts. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out for you blessing without measure. 11I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your land, and the vine in your field will not fail to produce fruit,” says the LORD of Hosts.…

Luke 6:38

38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Admittedly, I was getting excited with expectation of how He would use this extraordinary gift.  What came next rocked my world and left me spiraling in despair.

First, my sweet aged horse went into a severe colic and double pneumonia.  The vet bill crushed me.  Next, we were hit with a tax bill of $13,000.  Then our two-month-old refrigerator stopped working, and because it is under a warranty, Sears said they can’t come out for nine days.  All our food spoiled.  My tractor stopped working and now it is in the shop.  Everywhere I looked was destruction.

Maybe I will be laugh at these calamities someday, but right now it is raw.  I cried out to God, and proclaimed the verses of hope, prosperity, and all that is afforded to a believer in Jesus.  My faith is faltering, my strength failing, and my hope is thread bare.  Then I thought about it all, God is God of my life.  Even this period of wilderness will bear much fruit.  I am learning that my circumstances are temporary, He is forever.

I got my praise music on and literally laid on the floor, tears streaming down my face.  My big fluffy dogs trying to comfort me.  I did not care, I was going to lay there until He changed my heart from despair to hope.  If He gives me nothing, I am still going to praise Him for saving this sorry soul from the pit of hell.  I will smile in the face of defeat, because God is working it all out for my good, even when I wish His “good” was my kind of good.  My Father is a good God, and He loves me too much to leave me in this wretched place.

I repeat out loud, as if it were a battle cry.  “I am your daughter!  You are my God, and I will serve You no matter how bad it looks!  Have mercy O Great God!”

Immediately, my heart is restored, hope floods in, and I know that He will bring good gifts, I only need to hold onto hope.

Are you in the valley of despair?  Let me pray for you, please just put your name in the comment box.

Take Your Grubby Hands Off Of That…..It is Mine!

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“How will they know it is Me, if you keep trying to make something happen?”

A smack down, straight from God Almighty.  I am a bull-in-a-china-shop, a go-getter, stop-at-nothing, million-miles-an-hour woman, type-A, who always wants to be in control.  I get more accomplished before eight o’clock in the morning than most people do all day and in some cases all week.

Written goals organized into steps to be taken each day.  The biggest goal is marketing my book, Fighting for the Finish, and I am constantly weaving a web of purposeful steps to get my book “out there.”  I think about it constantly.

Then I got the smack-down from God.  Do I trust Him with the story He gave me?  I started to laugh to myself, yes, of course.  Who wouldn’t?  Reflecting upon my constant flurry of action, it was leading me to destruction, and in all honesty, I was NOT trusting Him.

Forgive me O Mighty God.  Hands off, I will rest in You!

Have you ever had God tell you to stop, rest in Him, knowing that He is working it all out?  Please share!

Buttons!

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Katie has a hard time communicating and lately she has taken to drawing her desires, needs and wants. This morning Katie was no different. Her mother pushed paper and pencil towards Katie. After a few minutes Katie pushed the paper back at her mom and said,”HORSE!”

“Do you want a horse?” Her mom asks her.

“Yes!……..Buttons!” She exclaims.

Buttons is her go-to-horse at RAISE YOUR DREAMS FARM, where she loves to be loved by this huge pony.

Jesus Saves Wretches Like Me

I came to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.  While staying at one of the oldest homes in a quaint little town in southern New Jersey, I was in trouble, spiritual trouble.  I was house sitting this beautiful masterpiece.  But what I did not know was that it was haunted.  Lights going on, chairs moving, banging, thumping, electrical humming sounds, and most disconcerting was the overwhelming fear I had.

That morning, the phone kept ringing, and as soon as I grabbed the phone, all I heard was a dial-tone.  Frustrated, I went to the only thing that could help me, a pastor.  While speaking with him on the phone about what I was experiencing, the phone began to ring.  An impossibility, there was no other line except the one that I was on.

“Pastor, if I accept Jesus Christ, will this phone stop ringing?” I was desperate for answers to questions that I did not know.

“I don’t know, but what you will have is the power inside of you to stop it,” he said the  word that I longed for- power.  I knew deep in my heart that it was essential for me to have that power, without it, I was surely going to be destroyed.

I accepted Jesus Christ that day as my Savior out of desperation.  Little did I know that for one year, I would be harassed by strong demonic forces at my little home in Delaware.  During  that year I learned and understood the significance of the power living inside of me, and my life has never been the same.

It is a fantastic story and available in my book, Fighting for the Finish, on http://www.jillmansor.com or amazon.  I am currently holding a contest on my FIGHTING FOR THE FINISH WRITTEN BY JILL MANSOR FB PAGE to win a free signed copy.

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This is a picture from my farm, Raise Your Dreams, in southern New Jersey.

The Farm That Hope Built

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“Miss Jill, you are the luckiest person I know,” Josh held out his hands trying to encompass all of my farm.

“Josh, this has nothing to do with luck,” I stated flatly, for he had no idea how much time, planning, and effort “all” of this luck took.

“Aw, c’mon, Miss Jill, it was all luck,” he laughed awkwardly, as if it were inconceivable to have anything without some luck.

This conversation gave me many flashbacks.  I was thrust into my past with my many friends who became nay-Sayers who discouraged me and sabotaged me.  I saw myself on my knees and recalled the countless hours in prayer.  All the extra jobs I would take no matter how tedious to make extra money.  All the hours in careful planning of how I would get the money to open my own farm.  And after I got my farm, how many times I went without food.  This labor of love, Raise Your Dreams Farm, had nothing to do with luck.  It had everything to do with my relationship with Jesus Christ.

The day I accepted Christ, I felt a tugging on my life, to give it all to Him.  I read His Word, memorized His promises, and I kept mine to Him.

One day I read, “As a man thinks in his heart, so shall he be,” Proverbs 23:7.  I set about immediately casting out negative thoughts.  I am being honest here, I always hated myself.  I grew up in an abusive household, it was ingrained in me that I was a worthless waste of space.

Admittedly, it was a struggle to change my thinking, after-all, I had lived this way for my whole life.  I filled my mind and words with His promises of who I was.  If Jesus knows me, then I MUST be something special I would tell myself.

I would spend hours in the stalls, listening to tapes that I made of promising scripture.  I woke up to these tapes, and then I would fall asleep to them.  I felt God prompting me to write down my goals, make plans to achieve them, and then set about doing something every day that got me a little closer to my goals.  Some days they were big steps, other days they were small steps, but every moment was spent thinking of my goals.

I remember going to a tack store and buying a brass key chain with the name, RAISE YOUR DREAMS FARM, so that each time, I grabbed my keys, I saw the dream and felt the farm.  I could visualize my farm, a yellow house, tree lined driveway that curved, and it all fell into place on May 1, 2002, the day I found my farm.  By May 31, of that year, I was laying in my Jacuzzi tub looking out on my horses at my very own farm.

A single woman buying a farm, sheer craziness, but with God ALL things are possible!

One of my dearest friends gave me a tiny figure of a woman that was on her knees praying, and she wrote in her note to me that she knew that this farm could ONLY be possible by copious hours spent in prayer.  It is not what you show outwardly, but what you do when no one is watching that produces the biggest results.

Do you have a dream?  Go after it with all your heart.  Make a goal, set a plan in action, ask God for His help, and believe in your heart that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Is Your Vision in Laser Focus?

Without a vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18

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As a brand new Christian, I clung to these words of encouragement, and set upon making plans for my life.  I set goals for that month, the year, and five years.  Then I set about putting these plans into action by making steps, no matter how small to achieve these goals.  Within a few months, I was progressing without a hitch, but more importantly, I noticed that my life was improving.  I was believing in what I thought would be  impossible.

Today, writing my goals in my journal everyday is an integral part of my life.  It is essential for all to know their vision, because without it, we will surely perish.

Happy goal writing in 2019!