Thread Bare Faith

 

IMG_1654I know I must, then why is it so hard to do it?  What must I do?  Praise the LORD, that’s my mandate, but I am slain in overwhelming disappointment.  I thought that after I battled cancer my life would be restored.  Instead, I lay in destruction.

I am fighting my fear, disappointment, and hopelessness.  You see, I did something the world would say was crazy.  After not being able to work last year, I closed a large account, in anticipation of spending it on my crushing debt.  After an extended fast, God said, “Do you trust me?”

I emphatically answered with a resounding YES!  What He told me to do next, rocked me to my core, “Give me all that you have.”  I had thousands of dollars in my account, earmarked for debt, and God was asking me to give it all to Him.

With shaking hands, I trusted Him, and wrote the check out for everything I had.

I rested in the glorious verses,  Malachi 3:10-11

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this,” says the LORD of Hosts. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out for you blessing without measure. 11I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your land, and the vine in your field will not fail to produce fruit,” says the LORD of Hosts.…

Luke 6:38

38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Admittedly, I was getting excited with expectation of how He would use this extraordinary gift.  What came next rocked my world and left me spiraling in despair.

First, my sweet aged horse went into a severe colic and double pneumonia.  The vet bill crushed me.  Next, we were hit with a tax bill of $13,000.  Then our two-month-old refrigerator stopped working, and because it is under a warranty, Sears said they can’t come out for nine days.  All our food spoiled.  My tractor stopped working and now it is in the shop.  Everywhere I looked was destruction.

Maybe I will be laugh at these calamities someday, but right now it is raw.  I cried out to God, and proclaimed the verses of hope, prosperity, and all that is afforded to a believer in Jesus.  My faith is faltering, my strength failing, and my hope is thread bare.  Then I thought about it all, God is God of my life.  Even this period of wilderness will bear much fruit.  I am learning that my circumstances are temporary, He is forever.

I got my praise music on and literally laid on the floor, tears streaming down my face.  My big fluffy dogs trying to comfort me.  I did not care, I was going to lay there until He changed my heart from despair to hope.  If He gives me nothing, I am still going to praise Him for saving this sorry soul from the pit of hell.  I will smile in the face of defeat, because God is working it all out for my good, even when I wish His “good” was my kind of good.  My Father is a good God, and He loves me too much to leave me in this wretched place.

I repeat out loud, as if it were a battle cry.  “I am your daughter!  You are my God, and I will serve You no matter how bad it looks!  Have mercy O Great God!”

Immediately, my heart is restored, hope floods in, and I know that He will bring good gifts, I only need to hold onto hope.

Are you in the valley of despair?  Let me pray for you, please just put your name in the comment box.

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Jesus Saves Wretches Like Me

I came to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.  While staying at one of the oldest homes in a quaint little town in southern New Jersey, I was in trouble, spiritual trouble.  I was house sitting this beautiful masterpiece.  But what I did not know was that it was haunted.  Lights going on, chairs moving, banging, thumping, electrical humming sounds, and most disconcerting was the overwhelming fear I had.

That morning, the phone kept ringing, and as soon as I grabbed the phone, all I heard was a dial-tone.  Frustrated, I went to the only thing that could help me, a pastor.  While speaking with him on the phone about what I was experiencing, the phone began to ring.  An impossibility, there was no other line except the one that I was on.

“Pastor, if I accept Jesus Christ, will this phone stop ringing?” I was desperate for answers to questions that I did not know.

“I don’t know, but what you will have is the power inside of you to stop it,” he said the  word that I longed for- power.  I knew deep in my heart that it was essential for me to have that power, without it, I was surely going to be destroyed.

I accepted Jesus Christ that day as my Savior out of desperation.  Little did I know that for one year, I would be harassed by strong demonic forces at my little home in Delaware.  During  that year I learned and understood the significance of the power living inside of me, and my life has never been the same.

It is a fantastic story and available in my book, Fighting for the Finish, on http://www.jillmansor.com or amazon.  I am currently holding a contest on my FIGHTING FOR THE FINISH WRITTEN BY JILL MANSOR FB PAGE to win a free signed copy.

Tell me your testimony!october 2012 024

This is a picture from my farm, Raise Your Dreams, in southern New Jersey.

Is Your Vision in Laser Focus?

Without a vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18

october 2012 024

As a brand new Christian, I clung to these words of encouragement, and set upon making plans for my life.  I set goals for that month, the year, and five years.  Then I set about putting these plans into action by making steps, no matter how small to achieve these goals.  Within a few months, I was progressing without a hitch, but more importantly, I noticed that my life was improving.  I was believing in what I thought would be  impossible.

Today, writing my goals in my journal everyday is an integral part of my life.  It is essential for all to know their vision, because without it, we will surely perish.

Happy goal writing in 2019!

A Miracle Marriage

wedding
“Jill, Dan is totally in love with you,” Sharon said one cold frosty December morning.
 
“I am not interested,” I said, as I looked down at my desk. I had just moved into my farm and I was totally overwhelmed. I guess I was complaining about my loneliness, and Sharon offered hope. Dan was a teacher at the high school I was teaching at with Sharon. He belonged to our little social club of like-minded-born-again-teachers. He came faithfully every morning to our prayer group and social outings. He had already asked me out, and I had said no.
 
But I was feeling that she had a valid point. He was the first person at my farm the day I bought it, he always encouraged me, and he was one strong Christian. These were the traits I was looking for in all of my friends and he truly fit the criteria.
 
That night, I started my prayer, when I felt the Lord say into my spirit, “You are going to marry Dan.”
 
The seed had been planted. Christmas Eve service was magical with each of us holding onto a candle. I love Christmas and the evening service is the highlight of my year. I love to sing Silent Night, Holy Night, and on this particular night, it was snowing. Dan sat next to me, and I grabbed onto his strong arm for support, because I began to cry. He patted my knee when we sat down.
 
That’s when I knew that Dan was possibly my soul mate, my protector, and husband. On January 6th of that year, I invited him over for dinner. I felt that God was speaking to me so strongly about marrying him that I would “test” and ask Dan if God was saying the same thing to him.
 
“Dan, is God saying anything to you about me?” We were sitting in my sun-room and he was playing with one of my dogs.
 
He looked at me as if he had just swallowed a golf-ball. “Yeah….” he said.
 
“What?” I asked.
 
“I’m not going to tell you,” he said and laughed slightly.
 
“Well, God is saying something to me and I was wondering if he was saying the same thing to you,” I paused to see if he was going to say anything. We sat there awkwardly looking at each other.
 
“What is he saying to you, I want to know,” I could hear the sound of hope rising in his voice.
 
“He told me that I was going to marry you!” I started to laugh nervously.
 
“He told me the same thing! But I told God it was impossible! I was walking one day, in fact it was September 1st, and He said that not only was I going to marry you, it would be within one year. I told God, that He has the wrong girl, because Jill won’t even go out with me,” like a spigot, he poured out all that he had suppressed.
 
Dan and I fasted and prayed for three weeks, and on January 27th we got engaged on a snow capped hill in Chester County, Pennsylvania. By June 21st at the age of forty-one, we married each other for better or worse on the front porch of our lovely farm.
 
After seventeen years of marriage, through ups and downs, we have found stability and strength from each other. Miracles do happen, for the world had me believing that I was more likely to be struck by lightning than getting married.