Life can be hard, but I always found peace on the back of my beloved horse, RAISE YOUR DREAMS. He became an extension of me, and I was his. Many hours were spent at the barn with this special horse making my life right with my two-thousand pound hero.
Every Wednesday they pile out of the Deveruex van. They come to ride, pick tasty tomatoes organically grown, and to clean stalls of their favorite mounts. The countdown starts as soon as they leave, for stolen moments of freedom and fun at a little farm in southern New Jersey. They call themselves blessed, but it is me that receives the biggest blessings.
Battling cancer all year, two blown knees, and lymphadema in my left arm, I felt that I was broken beyond repair. Until I had an epiphany!
You are a child of God! You don’t have to live in despair! Claim who you are! God was speaking to me!
“Ok devil, I’m serving you notice! The battle is already won! I’m a child of the most high God! You cannot, will not be able to touch me!” Admittedly it felt good! I got up and started to walk, usually painful beyond belief. This time, I was going to praise God for the healing He promised me the day He died on the cross.
“Thank you Father for my healing! I walk in victory, I speak in victory! I am more than a conqueror through Christ!” Emboldened by faith, I knew that I was learning to live above my circumstances.
That night as I climbed into bed, my husband said, “You aren’t in any pain?” He was so accustomed to me complaining, moaning and groaning throughout my day that he noticed the silence of peace that comforted my heart.
“No, Dan! Do you believe it? God taught me that sometimes I just need to get violent!”
“Yup, violent with the devil! I beat him up so badly by claiming all GOD has for me, that he dare not come near me!” I laid down and a tear of gratefulness welled in my eyes. For the first time in a year, I felt no pain! I was healed, always had been, I just needed to claim what I knew I had!
“Ahhhhhh, NOOOOOO!” Katie laid in a heap on the ground. What would make her scream, cry, moan, and collapse on the ground you may ask? The dreaded riding helmet! Each equine therapy started out with one person holding her hands, another, her feet, and one leaning over top of her head with the ready helmet. This was the routine every equine therapy session and it was torturous!
For many children that are autistic this sensory is extremely sensitive. Ironically many of the children would begin to associate the dreaded helmet with horses and they would slowly comply. This was the case for our precious little Katie.
Yesterday her mom sent me a couple pictures, and then told me this story.
“Katie, who is this?” Katie was on the floor drawing. Her mother was curious who she was drawing, and she always enjoyed listening to Katie speak.
“Katie!” Many autistic children talk in third person.
“What is this?” Mom pointed to the brown blob.
“Pony!” She had a slight edge to her voice like how could you NOT tell this was a pony.
“What is this?” Mom pointed to black circle on her drawing.
“Helmet!” This time it was just too much for Katie and she was a little louder and more incredulous. She didn’t say it but mom knew what she meant. Duh mom, we all know you can’t ride a horse without a helmet.
Katie comes to the farm and the first thing she says to me is “helmet, please!” She has learned the dreaded helmet is a gateway to freedom on the back of a pudgy white pony who loves her as much as she loves him!
More precious than all the money in the world is when these special children that God has entrusted me with overcome a fear!
My experience was more like Amityville Horror, but it totally changed my life.
Check out my interview on the AUTHOR’S SHOW at http://www.jillmansor.com.
Another terrible day laid before me. No longer did I see a sweet package to be opened, but a day I had to endure in excruciating pain. I had gone through chemo and I survived it only to have my left knee blow up. Literally it was three sizes larger than my right.
I begged my oncologist to allow me to get my knee “scrapped” because I couldn’t get a total knee replacement. She reluctantly agreed and on July 2nd at 4:00 in the morning I was slated first surgery at University of Pennsylvania Hospital.
But I was still in pain four weeks later, not because of my left knee, but my right knee was just as big from overcompensating for my left. Living a normal life, I could probably drag myself around. If you own a horse farm, own two businesses, and teach at a local university like me than this would be impossible.
My epiphany came birthed from anger. “I’m a child of God! He says I’m healed, well than I’m healed!” I said out loud to myself I was determined to put to death my pain and live in victory!
I got out of bed, tenderly like I always do. I put my shoulders back, grabbed my walking sneakers and took off at 5:00 in the morning. I was going to walk, speak, and think of nothing else but that I’m healed!
It took me 53 minutes to walk two miles, but I did it! The next day 51 minutes, today 43 minutes, and guess what- I’m no longer going to believe the lie that I can’t have life abundantly!
I’m a water-walking-child-of-the-King and if He says it is good than I am!
I refuse to believe the lie of death and destruction! Because WITH GOD I CAN DO ANYTHING!
What are you trying to overcome? Share and I will pray for you!